Mac Wilkinson

Being queer, specifically trans nonbinary, in many spaces is a tightrope walk between the perceived and the intended. I exist in two planes: the isolated, internal understanding of my own being, and my identity in the eyes of others. As a result of not being able to access both simultaneously, I have become hyper aware of my actions–how my hands move, where my feet point, what drinks I prefer--in an attempt to convey my self image.  If porn is the misinformed teacher for how sex should be, my own skewed views of the masculine is the teacher of how I should be. Through these fleeting, high anxiety, and painfully specific moments, strict self ideals are subconsciously formed as a means of self preservation– despite their lacking credibility. Such ideals include choosing black coffee over a latte, a dark IPA over a glass of wine, letting spills and stains soak into my jeans, and walking slowly at night–as if I have not a care in the world.

Within my art practice I strive to unpack these ‘truths’ with humor, grief, longing and sincerity and distill the findings in such a way that they become palpable for each viewer. I have manipulated symbols and patterns from flags and traditional heraldry to simultaneously dismantle cis-heteronormative expectaions of gender and reform my own status and identity.  Through vibrant colors and frantic lines: the stress, discomfort, and frustrations of existing in a constant state of conflict are expressed. Through found, gifted, and donated material I am able to sew my own identifiers and thus thoughtfully renew the gender I hold with each piece.